When I know I’m writing something that human people will read, I try to make sure it’s not complete crap. I want those who read it to be able to take something from it, whether it’s inspiration, a laugh or just a little solace so when I moved to Los Angeles I awarded myself a sabbatical from writing. It took me a little while to get my bearings here and every time I sat down to write, the words that came out seemed like throwing shit at a wall.
I was having trouble finding my own comfort here, so how could I extend any to other people? I was feeling a little bit lost, how could I shine a light for anyone else?
I just felt weird. I couldn’t even completely understand why but I was restless. I teetered back and forth between vulnerable and stronger than ever. One moment I would feel so certain and “in alignment with my destiny!”
and others I just didn’t know. I think it was time that I really needed and to give myself permission to experience everything I was feeling instead of trying to be so damn strong and put together all the time. We always want to put our best foot forward, but what if my best foot hasn’t been able to get a pedicure lately and I can’t find a cute pair of shoes?
I think my lesson has been to become more comfortable with feeling exposed and realizing that even if it feels subpar in the moment, I can hold fast to the truth that my best foot in any given moment is just fine. My best foot is pretty good actually and it’s not about my foot being better than anyone else’s foot, or my foot having the trendiest foot accessories, but appreciating that my best foot is a unique and wonderful snowflake of the universe.
It’s easy to appreciate a foot encased by a perfectly lit Gianmarco Lorenzi stiletto,
but sometimes it’s just as beautiful to observe the chaos.
The broken moments when your best foot doesn’t feel good enough
and could use a little love.
There’s beauty in those moments too.
So as I continue my journey and find the courage to expose myself again–good and bad, shiny or broken–I do it will a little more confidence that my best foot, however it shows up in each moment, is just great.